And this goes way deeper then you can even imagine, we are working with the deep primal part of our brains.
For a woman to have a mind-blowing orgasms the part of her brain that shuts off, that allows her to have these incredible orgasms, that is part of her brain is the part that registers danger in the environment.
You're going to want to go to the safety and security level. Does she feel safe with you? Does she trust you physically and emotionally? Can she relax and let go while she's with you?
So this is true in all situations, whether you just you've picked up a woman at the bar but also when you are in a long term relationship.
So you need to make her though comfortable in your presence, and that alone, if she feels really comfortable with you, and she feels secure with you, that might be enough for her to have sex with you. But as relationships unfold as you as time goes on her need for safety and security will increase and she will be able to open deeper and deeper to you