3 Secrets to be the best lover she's ever had
May 10, 2019

When you ask me being a great lover doesn’t have as much to do with how to touch or learning certain techniques. Yes, that is important to some degree but I think the thing that is most important is your ability to have a woman feel safe with you. This is truly the key to reach deeper states together.  
The first and most important question for the feminine is whether she feels safe with you.

And this goes way deeper then you can even imagine, we are working with the deep primal part of our brains. 

For a woman to have a mind-blowing orgasms the part of her brain that shuts off, that allows her to have these incredible orgasms, that is part of her brain is the part that registers danger in the environment. 

You're going to want to go to the safety and security level. Does she feel safe with you? Does she trust you physically and emotionally? Can she relax and let go while she's with you? 

So this is true in all situations, whether you just you've picked up a woman at the bar but also when you are in a long term relationship. 

So you need to make her though comfortable in your presence, and that alone, if she feels really comfortable with you, and she feels secure with you, that might be enough for her to have sex with you. But as relationships unfold as you as time goes on her need for safety and security will increase and she will be able to open deeper and deeper to you

One great way to create this sense of safety for her is to create a deep sense of presence in your own body.

This means that you are connected to the sensations in your body from moment to moment. A woman can feel that. Very often this effects her subconsciously and allows her to relax more. 

The second key is to lose the goal! A lot of guys want to get straight to the goal instead of really tuning in to women and going slowly. 

Very often the men have the mindset that is something like: let's achieve our goal, let's set our purpose and they are not focused on the journey itself. 

The thing is.. women love the journey. You want to be with her on the journey and get very attuned with her. That is the way that your sexual experience is going to make a full impact on her. And then the sex and the connection is going to be a much higher quality.
The third key is SO important. It is presence. It is your ability to truly BE there with her. 

Presence just does it, it’s one of the biggest aphrodisiacs for women. She craves a man who is completely present with her. 

One of the biggest cravings for women is the question, can you handle all of me? Even if she completely able to let go, if she surrenders to the pleasure, can he look into her eyes and be there for me? Or is he going to shrink and close his eyes the entire time? Can he show up and be there with all of her? This is such a deep and profound hunger that women have. 

It is so sexy to feel someone who truly shows up. 

I want all men to know the gift and the importance of their presence. Many men don’t know or don’t understand the power of their own presence. 

If you want to amplify this in yourself you want to practice the kind of spacious sense that allows you to truly handle life and stay present amid everything that is happening around you. This presence is one of the only ways to truly be able to handle whatever comes to you. 

How to stop putting pressure on yourself in the bedroom
February 28, 2019

One of the great tricks of sex is that if you're always trying to make it amazing and you can't let it be average or bad, you'll never get the heights of truly epic sex. 

So when you are always trying to make sex look like pornography or Hollywood sex, where everyone has a fabulous time and everyone always feels pleasure. It is incredibly limiting. 
You can’t open up to the full potential of free and unleashed sexual experiences if you're trying to shove yourself or your partner into a box of what it is supposed to look like. 

So allowing it to just be weird sometimes and let that be ok. Allowing it to just be average sometimes and let that be ok. 

Too many people put way too much pressure for it to always be amazing all the time. 

What this does is that it is creating a goal-oriented way of being and it disconnects you from what is actually alive and true in the moment. It can take you away from what exactly needs to be happening in the now. 

You want to practice to be aware and in tune with what’s appropriate in every single moment. 
A woman will sense that. And she will be able to meet you there. 

She is going to relax a whole lot more deeply than she has ever relaxed before. 

And this opens the doorway to deeper levels of connection, love and orgasm. And that's really based on your degree of presence that you are able to show up with. 

And that really only happens when you let go of the goal and replace the goal with what’s happening in this moment. 

You can ask yourself: What is my body instinctually telling me to do? What's going on in the next moment with both me and her? And then being able to ride that wave. 

You want to develop the skill to feel and follow your instincts. And this is something that you can do different practices for. Feel free to send me a message if this feels exciting to you. 

If you let go of the pressure and expectations and are able to follow your instincts you will see that it becomes natural to follow this moment to moment. You're going to be deeply in touch with what is needed in the present to connect more deeply and feel more in tune and alive. 

  The magic is that you will feel naturally what is called for in this present moment without being stuck in your mind. 

And if you let go of the idea that sex always needs to be amazing it opens up new possibilities without feeling pressure. 

We are so conditioned that sex always needs to look as it does in the movies. But this limits us from feeling what is actually true and alive in the present moment. And this can feel quite vulnerable and there is a lot of power in this at the same time. 

One powerful practice to feel more connected during sex
February 3, 2019

Some of the issues that you might face in your dating life, your relationship or your marriage can often come from a disconnection between your penis, your heart, and your mind. 

Men often talk about themselves as though there's this huge disconnect. Like your penis has got a mind of its own. Like the thoughts in your mind are somehow disconnected from the will of your penis. 

Maybe you have a sense that no matter how hard you try to think a certain way or control things a certain way, your penis just has this mind and an expression of its own. 
  And this can feel very disempowering and disconnecting. 

For example.. maybe you have sex with people you don't love or you have a hard time actually being sexually attracted to people that you do love. 

Maybe you feel like you make bad sexual decisions that don't have a lot of reason to them.

Or you feel like your mind controls your sexuality and doesn't let you be free and follow your desires. 
Maybe you feel like your penis has this agenda of its own, that it’s out to destroy your relationship or distract you from your career and to lose focus. 

What happens then is you're just going to disconnect and pull away. 

Maybe you shut off your thinking capacity that gives you perspective and wisdom and long term goals and ideas. 
Or you feel like your heart is a dangerous place because you don't want to get hurt and you'd rather just have sex with a certain type of person but not ever get emotionally attached. 

What happens then is that you're not going to want to be present with your heart and all the amazing feelings that that entails. 
  What you want instead is to come from a place of freedom and integration.

So letting your penis connect and talk to your heart. Let your mind talk your heart. Your heart talk to your penis.  

So that the impulse, the desire within you is all in alignment and you don't feel like you're at war with yourself and feel disconnected from yourself. 

And that creates a lot of power. And it also creates a lot of presence in your body. 

  And that is super sexy. 

It also means that you're going to want to have sex with and be super sexually attracted to the women that you have the most connection and the most love with. That when you feel really in love and connected you're also going to be sexually attracted to and magnetize to that same person. And that it is not going to disconnect you in any way. 

To support you in this I created a guided audio practice to create this alignment and empowerment within yourself. If you are interested, enter your email address below and the audio practice will be sent to you.  

Download your Free 
Mind, Heart & Penis 
Integration Audio Practice